I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
