I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize