You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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