sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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