On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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