god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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