Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think my moral compass just broke
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
