do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
