Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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