Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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