had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
