dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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