He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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