I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
