If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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