He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
