Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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