I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
birth control should be required to get into college
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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