Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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