It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize