Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
