i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize