weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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