I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize