If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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