Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
