i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
