woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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