My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
