I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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