That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
