it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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