So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize