just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
