I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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