Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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