I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Shame - the story of my life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
