he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
