Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
