you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize