He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
