first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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