Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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