Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
