Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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