Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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