So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
