the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
