You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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