so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
