Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
