Plan B is the new Plan A
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize