If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I will be naked everywhere
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
