Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
