I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
